Deep wells

“…I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like Deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while…”

-Haruki Murakami

My dear Melancholy

In the early hours of this morning it was far too hot for anyone to sleep.
You told me I was strange and kissed me
sunk your teeth into my soft bottom lip twice. So hard I thought you drew blood.
I keep getting the feeling that if you look at me for long enough
you may see that I have a thousand fears
just like your mother who never really wanted you to leave
meanwhile mina I am catching up on the sleep that we missed
and waiting patiently to feel normal again.
My thoughts about you are frightening but precise.
I can see the house on the hill where we grow our own vegetables out back
and drink warm wine out of jam jars
and sing songs in the kitchen until the sun comes up
you make me feel like myself
again. Myself before I had any solid reasons to be anything else.
Last night you gave me space to dream bigger than the single bed.
You laughed in your sleep and I cried in mine
and this afternoon we might be tired because the sun is fierce today
and so much happened between midnight and now
but Bhabha you are terror and brilliance
I am the kind of woman who is already teaching my body to miss yours
without craving.
I am the type of woman who is already teaching my heart to miss yours
without failing
and I am quite sure that you will find this unnecessary
but I am already searching for a place to run to and hide when you say,

Uthando lwami. I’m ready. Are you?

You know that I would gladly drive with you to the other side of the world with only the clothes I am wearing
and the loose change 
and empty peanut shells in my purse
every time you leave the room I worry
and think that perhaps I have imagined you
and maybe you have imagined me.

’sthandwa sami

(my beloved, isiZulu)’

Yrsa Daley-Ward, ‘bone.’

When I read this I cried so hard my whole face went red, I still can’t read it without feeling like someone’s clutching my heart in their hands.

Lacasa Da Papel

“Everything can go to hell in less than a second. In moments like this, you feel death creeping in, and you know nothing will ever be the same. But you need to do whatever it takes to survive.”
“In this world everything is governed by balance. There’s what you stand to gain and what you stand to lose. And in this moment they think they have nothing to lose. And when you believe you’ve got nothing to lose, you’re overconfident. We will be the ones that are going to show them just how much they have to lose”
-The Professor
“Death can be the greatest opportunity of your life”
“There are moments in life we should just be able to have a damn remote control, so you could pause it. Even if just for five minutes. But sometimes things happen with irreverent obscenity and there’s nothing you can do to to help it.”
“You grab fear by the hand and you keep living.”
“The most important moments are the ones that make you realize there’s not turning back.You’ve crosses the line and you are stuck on the other side.”
“The one’s who only know one way of getting rid of pain, by giving it back”
“It takes much more courage to be in love than it does for war.”
“The only thing you can do is hide behind that damn speech. Boom Boom Ciao.Because you know you’ve been left in the lurch forever,friend.”
“There’s always happier days to remember. And the more fucked up things are, the happier those days seem to be”


“I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons and maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to chose where we come from, we can still choose where we will go from there.”

– The pecks of being a Wallflower

She still smiles from time to time, definitely a charming smile, but it’s always limited somehow , a smile that never goes beyond a moment.
A high invisible wall surrounds her, holding people at arms length.

“Don’t come here with that love shit”.

-H M


I am awfully sentimental. Of books, belongings, people, places. It matters very little how positive or negative the experience was. If it shared some meaningful time in my life, I’ll have trouble letting go.